


Touch and Comfort

by HyperKid



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Body Worship, Dom!Caduceus, F/M, Fingering, First Time, Grieving, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Zadash adventures, asexual!Caduceus Clay, cuddle party, missing Molly, switch!Jester, virgin!Caduceus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:29:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22390309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid
Summary: Jester’s... not okay after the Iron Shepherds. Caduceus helps her work through it. First with his words, then with his hands.
Relationships: Background PolyNein, Clayster, Jester Lavorre/Caduceus Clay
Comments: 10
Kudos: 89





	Touch and Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> HK: So apparently 2020 is the year of finishing all my old shit?   
> Mollymauk: Clearing the backlog?   
> HK: You would think, but the folder isn’t actually getting smaller...   
> Mollymauk: That’s just because you have too much backlog.   
> HK: Fair. Lots of little things, a couple of bigger things!   
> Mollymauk: Flesh out those head canons. 
> 
> WARNINGS!! Mentions of major character death (Molly), grief, explicit sex 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one but I WILL make all the soft content about it

There was something eating under her skin, a pain and ragged, buzz saw need that Jester had never really felt before. She’d never known someone actually die before. She’d never been captured and held to be tortured before. She’d never doubted the Traveler before. She’d also never gone so long without ~some~ kind of intimacy, the little touches, holding hands, resting her weight against someone else. And fucking, obviously. 

But it wasn’t... quite right with the Mighty Nein anymore. She and Mollymauk had cheerfully banged their way through most of the party, only Nott preferring to keep either or both tieflings dressed. 

More than anything, Jester wanted a pair of arms to fall into, hands on bare skin, even just soft little kisses. When she was hurting, she needed touch to be comforted. The Traveler understood that, even if his touch was cold, but he wasn’t always there. 

But how could she tuck into Beau, into Fjord, into Caleb, without seeing the gaping empty space where Molly should be on the other side? How could she kiss them without hearing his commentary? 

Fjord had tried to comfort her once or twice, a hand on her shoulder, pulling her into a hug. It wasn’t the same. And he’d been through just as much and a little bit of Jester hated that she was too hurt to comfort ~him~, to tug him into her arms and give him whatever he needed to get through what had happened. Fjord wasn’t good at talking about his feelings, and they’d all closed off so much. But she was scared to open the door and let all that pain back in. 

The only other person around was Caduceus Clay, and Jester had to admit she was quite fond of him. He was a cleric too, and he had come to save them before ever knowing them. The quiet, patient, gentle firbolg had found his way easily into her heart, even when she’d been more closed than ever in her life. He was so... stable. And so friggin’ big, it was like walking with a tree or a mountain. And he was furry. It looked really soft, especially that pink shock of hair. He’d probably let her braid it, if she asked. He’d have to sit down though (or she’d have already done at least three braids while he wasn’t paying attention). 

And he had never met Molly. No memories. 

Though she could just imagine how Molly would have reacted to meeting this new teammate, and it made her giggle even through tears. 

Yes, maybe she could relax with Caduceus a little. 

*** 

Jester had never, ever been shy in her life about asking for (demanding) attention, but something about Caduceus made her reconsider her usual efforts. For one thing, she’d need some high ground to be able to properly tackle him around the shoulders. Fjord was tall enough, and Caduceus was head and shoulders taller than him even! 

It wasn’t that she thought he’d be upset if she grabbed onto his arm or something. She’d never really seen him upset about anything, really. But something of his calm made her wonder if she couldn’t just... ask for what she wanted. 

She didn’t want to tackle him... much. She wanted to snuggle up against him and feel safe. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and just be still for a while. She wanted to be sad without someone asking what was wrong or worrying about her. 

Jester was very good at distracting herself and others with cheerful mischief and her antics, and her naturally bright and bouncy personality, while shaken, was still very much her default. She still wanted to please the Traveler with merry chaos, and when she was having fun with Nott or messing with Caleb, she felt almost normal. But all that sadness and fear was still there, and it needed to come out somehow. 

Caduceus would understand. He had dealt with the dead and the grieving basically forever. 

So one day while they were in Zadash, she approached him at breakfast with a sweet smile, and asked the other cleric if he’d like to come with her for the day. The rest of the group exchanged significant looks across the table and Jester could tell they were all thinking she was luring Caduceus away to add him to her list. Maybe she would later. 

Mr Clay himself gave her one of his slow, measured looks, sizing her up. Then he smiled, nodding. 

“I would enjoy that, yes.” And that was it. No questions about what she might be doing. It was probably because he hadn’t yet been treated to one of her more spectacular adventures, honestly. 

But as tempted as she was to pay the Raven Queen’s temple another visit, she squashed the impulse for now and smiled back, clasping her hands behind her back. 

“Great! There’s a lot I would like to show you,” she told him cheerfully, mind already spinning with possibilities. First of all, they’d need somewhere quiet to have their talk. Or maybe she’d start with Chastity’s Nook, and end the day somewhere peaceful. 

Caleb gave her a cursory glance, possibly psychically picking up thoughts of the smutty bookshop. 

“Will you be going anywhere interesting?” He asked, picking disinterestedly at his bacon. 

“I don’t know what could be more interesting than Mr Sol’s shop, but I’d like to find out,” Caduceus commented with that same calm smile, pushing away his own empty plate. A general murmur of agreement ran through the group, because if anyone could find something more interesting than the Invulnerable Vagrant it’d almost certainly be Jester. 

Jester herself nodded brightly, rocking back and forth on her toes. 

“There are some really nice parks in Zadash, and a lot of little shops in the Pentamarket. I bet you could find all kinds of stuff there!” She enthused cheerfully, and Caleb grunted and looked back down at his breakfast. If she wasn’t getting books or paper, he wasn’t interested. 

Beau hummed pensively, leaning back in her seat. 

“If you’re going to the Pentamarket first, I could tag along. Haven’t really explored that place in a while,” she mused. Then she caught Jester’s eye, a brow went up, and she grinned. “Unless you guys wanna go alone?” 

Caduceus opened his mouth to answer, paused, and Jester cut in quickly. 

“Actually I thought we’d go to the parks first, but we could meet you at the market later?” She offered, cocking her head to one side. She didn’t mind if the others thought she wanted Caduceus alone for sexy reasons. 

It meant she wouldn’t have to talk about the actual reason, and if she could have talked to them about it she wouldn’t need Caduceus alone at all. Mr Clay himself gave her another one of those measuring looks, a small smile spreading across his face. 

“I would like that,” he agreed, pushing back his stool and standing with an easy grace. “Shall we go now?” 

Jester nodded, a little relieved, her fingers playing in the strap of her haversack. She wasn’t exactly good at just standing around and waiting at the best of times. 

“Yes, let’s! It will be lots of fun. We will see you at the market around two?” She offered to Beau, who raised a hand in a wave, grinning. Nott leaned forward in her seat, glancing between the two women. 

“Could I come too? Later on, I mean,” she added quickly, fingers curling around the wood of her stool between her knees. Beau waved a hand at Jester as if to say that she had this one, directing her attention to the goblin girl. 

To Jester’s surprise, Caduceus stepped forward almost at once, resting one large hand in the small of her back. 

“Shall we?” He asked, smiling patiently and guiding her across the bar. Jester wasn’t quite sure if he really wanted to see the parks or he could tell how badly she wanted to get moving and was giving her an out, but either way she waved brightly to the rest of the troupe and let the firbolg bring her out onto the street. 

She had to take the lead once they reached the outdoors (it had been an excuse to get him alone but he really didn’t know Zadash), but she pointed instead of walking ahead, hoping he’d take the hint and keep in contact. His hands really were very big, and very warm, especially to her cooler skin, and felt wonderfully reassuring against the curve of her spine. And he could read her like a book apparently, because he just slipped his hand further around her side to keep her beside him as they made their way towards one of the smaller parks she had found on her various adventures. 

Tucked right up against him it was impossible to ignore how much taller he was, and Jester had to stifle a giggle as she looped an arm around his waist in return, almost on level with her shoulders. She couldn’t help but feel safe with the way he all but engulfed her, despite his skinniness. And knowing she could probably carry him more easily than he could carry her. 

They didn’t talk much as they moved through the crowded city streets, just the usual sight seeing chatter about what a building was, where something interesting could be found. Anticipation was beginning to make Jester antsy again by the time they reached the gates into the park, and when Caduceus stopped in the entry way she bounced on her toes a few times just to get some energy out. 

The firbolg didn’t seem to notice, taking in the softly green spaces of grass and the bright flame colours of the autumn leaves on the trees. A more peaceful smile overtook his face and he stepped slowly onto the grass. 

“That’s... wonderful,” he admitted slowly, closing his eyes briefly to draw in a great breath of air. “I can feel the Wildmother here.” He turned back to Jester, the same small smile inviting her in. It took a moment for her to notice that she’d hung back, not wanting to intrude on his moment with his patron. Usually she’d invite herself along just to say hi. “This’ll be a good place to talk.” 

“I...” Jester paused, frowning for a moment as her fingers worked the straps of her bag. There wasn’t much point denying she’d wanted to talk, not and then segueing right back into it. There probably wasn’t much point asking him how he’d known; it was his actual business, after all. After a moment she simply nodded, stepping forward to be close to him again. 

Caduceus slipped an arm back around her, glancing around the park and quickly finding a small bench tucked back under the branches of a weeping willow. It’d give them a little extra privacy. 

“Would you like to sit?” He offered, nodding towards the bench. Jester nodded without looking, busy trying to work out what she wanted to say. She didn’t even really know how to talk to the Traveler about this, and she always told him everything sooner or later. 

The bustle of the city faded a little as they moved further into the park, the few fallen leaves whispering over the ground as they walked with a soft shushing sound. Life went on beyond the fence and border of trees, but they were removed from it for the moment, safe in the space. The bench was a little cool beneath them when they sat, but Jester didn’t even notice as she smoothed her skirt over her knees. 

“I...” she tried again, huffing out a frustrated breath when the words still weren’t coming. Her brows drew in, scowling down at a late fall dandelion in the grass, and to her surprise she could feel tears welling in her eyes. Caduceus tucked a finger under her chin and she didn’t bother to resist as he turned her to face him, studying her. 

“It’s okay,” he told her, his voice as soft and gentle as his touch where his thumb skated over her cheek. “We have time. Let it all out.” Jester held off a moment longer, biting down on her lower lip hard. Then with a choked sob she gave in to the wave of sorrow and grief and let herself fall into Caduceus, burying her face in his chest and crying like she hadn’t in so long. 

Caduceus didn’t say anything, just wrapped his arms around her and drew her in as best he could, rubbing her back slowly and making soft, soothing sounds. He was something of an expert on grief in all its many forms. Comforting the bereaved was just part of life as a grave cleric, and he knew all the little ways that people wound themselves up on the inside to appear normal. It took a while to unwind. 

Eventually Jester hiccupped herself into silence again, feeling empty and wrung out and lighter than she had since she’d been taken. So many tears, for herself and for Yasha and Fjord and for Molly, they had built inside her and she hadn’t known how heavy they were until they were gone. She sat in silence for a little while longer, fingers tracing idle patterns over the silk of Caduceus’ one long, trailing sleeve, just... being. Caduceus didn’t rush her, or push for anything. He just sat beside her, legs touching from knee to hip and from hip to head pressed in. He was too tall to rest his chin on top of her head easily but it didn’t much matter. 

When Jester found her voice again it was cracked and raspy and didn’t really sound like her. 

“Thank you...” she paused, frowned, tried again, and decided to hell with it. “I just... wanted to talk about Molly.” It didn’t sound much like an explanation for what had just happened, but Caduceus didn’t exactly need one anyway. He just nodded, smiling down at her as she leant back to see his face. 

“I’d like that. He seems like someone very special.” He didn’t relax his grip, which Jester had been a little afraid of, and she managed a watery smile. 

“He was,” she assured the firbolg, “the most special of all.” She couldn’t help thinking of him then, of how Molly would have reacted to meeting Caduceus and she couldn’t resist a little giggle. “You would have liked him a lot. Everyone liked Molly.” Her lower lip began to wobble again and Caduceus gave her a gentle squeeze. 

“I’m sure I would have,” he agreed softly, just encouraging her to talk. As long as she had some idea where she was going, he was happy to just help her get there. 

“He died for coming after me,” Jester admitted, her voice barely more than a whisper as the tears rose again. “He died coming after me and the Traveler didn’t come and he didn’t save Molly.” 

That made Caduceus frown briefly, though it quickly smoothed out into a soothing smile. 

“Do you think he should have?” He asked softly. “The Traveler, I mean.” The question made Jester frown, stopping the new wave of tears as she considered the question. 

“He... he said he was there with me the whole time,” she said slowly, trying to work out the tangled knot of her feelings, “but... but maybe if he was with Molly instead he could have helped him and Molly would be alive and could have come to rescue us with you.” Guilt had tangled itself up in the pain, guilt for being taken in the first place, for wishing for the rescue that had taken her dear friend’s life. For surviving when Molly hadn’t, even though Molly had died trying to keep her alive and safe. Guilt for not being grateful and wishing that Molly was still with her. And guilt for blaming the Traveler when she hadn’t been able to feel him, which was all her fault if he said he’d been there. 

“Do you blame the Traveler?” Caduceus asked, apparently reading her mind from her face. She jumped a little, because even wrapped up as close as she could get she had still forgotten he was there. 

“No!” She said immediately, without even thinking about it. “He... told me he was there. And, and he made sure I was okay. I’m okay now,” she added, just in case Caduceus wasn’t sure, “and I trust him if he says he was with me, even if I didn’t know he was.” 

Caduceus mulled this over for a little while, examining her earnest features. It sounded like the truth, but it didn’t feel like quite the right question. She was still all twisted up inside. 

“But you want him to have saved Molly?” In a way, all he was doing was asking the questions that she wanted to ask herself. Following her threads and thought processes, just along for the ride. If that was what she needed, it was easy enough. And Caduceus liked Jester. She was so alive, so sweet and happy and vivacious. Unlike him in almost every way. Which he could very much appreciate, especially when she was making her trouble. 

Jester considered the new question for longer, mulling it over and trying to tease out her feelings. 

“I... I know there might not have been anything he could do,” she admitted at length, feeling quite ashamed to be even having the thought. The Traveler was her god... but he wasn’t all powerful. And that was okay almost all of the time. She very rarely wanted anything that he couldn’t give her. “I think... I think I want me to have saved Molly.” Her throat grew tight again, that hot prickling in her eyes hinting at more tears, but she rubbed these away firmly. “If I had been stronger... if I could have fought like Yasha, we might never have been taken and none of it would have needed to happen at all!” And all of a sudden there was a flash of anger, her fingers balling into fists and slamming down to crack the bench. 

Caduceus didn’t move, didn’t unwrap an arm from around her. 

“You think you were to blame,” he said softly, the pieces falling into place. “That something you did put Mollymauk on his path.” It wasn’t actually a question this time but Jester nodded anyway, eyes travelling slowly up his chest to his face. 

She hadn’t known it, not consciously, until she heard the words but now it was all she could think about. 

“What if I am?” She whispered, her voice barely more than a croak. “I let myself get caught, I doubted the Traveler, what if losing Molly is my... my punishment?” 

Caduceus smiled gently down at her, giving her a gentle squeeze. 

“I don’t think there was ever a chance that Mollymauk wouldn’t come after you,” he told her quietly. “His friends were far too dear to him. And there was never a chance he wouldn’t give his all to save you. Otherwise he wouldn’t be the man you knew.” 

Jester nodded slowly, twisting her fingers through the silken sleeve once more. 

“He... he always knew what to do,” she admitted softly. “What to say, to keep us all together. I don’t know how to do that without him.” She shook her head, forcing a smile onto her face. “He wanted us all to stay together. I shouldn’t...” 

“Shouldn’t think about what you’ve lost?” Caduceus asked softly, bringing her up short. “You lost someone very precious to you. Precious to all of you, I think. Pretending he was never there won’t keep you together, Jester. But you can keep his memory alive together.” 

Jester’s smile crumpled and she stared down at the grass once more. 

“It hurts,” she whispered, hating the tears filling her eyes once more. “I know it’s supposed to, but it hurts so much. Like if I don’t talk about him I’m forgetting him, but if I do I will die.” She rubbed at her face again, leaning sideways into Caduceus’ skinny frame. 

“It hurts,” the firbolg agreed softly, “but in time the hurt will heal, and you’ll still have his memory. The good times you shared haven’t gone. Nor have your other friends. They all came to find you, Jester. I don’t think they’ll leave unless you want them to.” He gave her another slow, reassuring smile. “And whenever you want to talk about Molly, I would be happy to listen. But there’s no rush either. Just don’t keep things bottled up inside, okay?” 

Jester considered this for a moment, then nodded, a weak smile taking over her face. 

“I would like that,” she agreed quietly. After a moment she looked up at Caduceus again. He was... well, he was kind of sheltered, so she might have to make some things clear. “It wasn’t just the talking, though. Molly and I, we...” there wasn’t really an easy word for what she and Molly had done, but before she could jump to the closest profane equivalent Caduceus cut her off. 

“I think I know,” he told her, clearing his throat a little uncomfortably. She hadn’t actually known that firbolgs could blush until now, or that you could tell under the fur. It was pretty subtle. “Caleb and Fjord were... well, they were worrying about you. Fjord said he didn’t think anything had happened while you were taken, but they didn’t know how to ask.” 

Jester waited for a moment, but apparently Caduceus wasn’t going to actually ask either, just leave the statement hanging like a hook. She considered making him work a little harder for it, that ever present imp of mischief never quiet for long. Then she shook her head. 

“No, nothing like that happened.” It hadn’t occurred to her as a possibility, honestly. Maybe she and Caduceus had a certain amount of “sheltered” in common. “It’s just...” she sighed, shaking her head. “It isn’t the same without Molly.” 

“Was he always with you?” Caduceus prodded gently. This was leaning a little more in the direction of group therapy, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He did want to be part of the group. Jester shook her head. 

“Not every time we fucked, no. But...” 

“Often enough?” 

“Yeah.” She sighed again, resting her chin on Caduceus’ skinny chest to look up at him. “You know Molly would have loved a chance to fuck you.” 

And... that probably ~shouldn’t~ have been unexpected, but it still kinda was. Clay wasn’t really sure how to handle that particular segue; it didn’t come up much. A little sparkle in Jester’s eye hinted that his open mouthed stare was pretty much exactly the reaction she had wanted though. 

He cleared his throat a few times, glancing away briefly then back to her. 

“I... thank you?” The conversation had taken a hard left somewhere, as most did with the blue tiefling involved, and for the first time he had no idea where it was going next. Some people did like to get physical while they were in mourning, and Jester especially was all about sharing the love. But she was also exactly the kind of sneaky little minx to say that just to see how he’d react. 

Caduceus Clay had no idea how he was going to react. It had a charming novelty about it. 

Jester giggled, obviously deeply pleased with the consternation her comment had caused. 

“Yeah, he always did like a big dick. And you are very tall, so I’m sure yours would be just his type.” She let the statement hang, not quite a question, a tiny bit in payback for the one he had left open earlier. 

Clay let out a startled cough, one arm tightening just a little around Jester’s shoulders. It might have been a reprimand, or just his body responding to the mental static filling his head. Jester decided it was an invitation, batting her lashes up at him and waiting for an answer. 

Caduceus did eventually find his voice. 

“Is... is that something you would also like to know?” He asked somewhat warily. He wasn’t exactly experienced with having friends, but he had a sneaking suspicion it was not a thing you usually discussed with platonic friends. It also seemed like ~exactly~ the kind of thing Jester would discuss with all her friends; he had already been treated to a review of the late Molly’s dick as the most appealing she’d sampled. 

Jester put on a thoughtful pout, pretending to consider him just to watch the way the blush under his grey fur darkened his cheeks. Then she nodded cheerfully. 

“Yup! I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?” It hadn’t ~exactly~ been the plan for the morning, but it was what was happening now and something about it felt right. Normal. She did miss normal. 

Caduceus frowned down at her for a moment before deciding that he might as well just ask the obvious question. 

“I haven’t travelled before, Miss Jester, not with a group or otherwise, so I’m not sure of the etiquette. Does anything have to happen if we were to come together?” He’d borrowed her copy of Tusk Love to read on the journey north, and that seemed to indicate that Fjord might want to duel him. 

Then again, Fjord wasn’t duelling Caleb or Beau, and he was aware that fiction was fiction. 

Jester giggled, leaning back and actually having to rise on her knees on the bench to tap Caduceus on the nose. 

“I like how you say “fuck”,” she told him cheerfully. “This is my first time travelling with a group too! But having sex doesn’t have to mean or change anything.” She paused, considering for a moment. “I mean Caleb or Fjord might also want to fuck you, but I don’t think Beau will. Mostly she liked to watch Molly fuck me, and I think she mostly just likes girls. But I could ask if you like?” 

“I don’t think it’ll be necessary,” Caduceus told her, mostly managing to keep a straight face. One thing that was becoming clear was that if he did sleep with Jester, it wasn’t going to be a secret. 

That openness was quite nice, actually. Caduceus himself had never been one to shy away from sex, though he didn’t declare it as loudly as Jester. He hadn’t really had the chance offered. He could recognize the sensibilities of others, and tried to accommodate them as much as he could. With the Mighty Nein, there wasn’t much to accommodate. They didn’t have many sensibilities left. 

Jester nodded cheerfully, tracing her fingertips up Caduceus’ sides in a much lighter, more teasing way than the previous comforting touches. 

“Do you want to have sex with me?” She asked, following Caduceus’ lead with just getting it out there. To his credit, Clay thought about it for a little while before nodding. 

“Not here,” he decided, glancing around the park. “But that sounds like fun.” He hadn’t really had a casual partner before, not any kind of partner at all if it came to it. But from the way Jester pouted, and sighed, and made a whole production of ~not~ taking off his clothes, she was absolutely going to want to play outdoors. 

Which could be fun, in its own way. Caduceus just liked to do things properly, and at the moment that meant a bed for the first time and a long, slow, pleasurable exploration. He ran a large hand down Jester’s back and she shivered with a happy little moan. 

“I suppose I can wait,” she agreed with a teasing little grin, “if we go back to the inn now?” 

Clay shook his head, a slight smile on his face. She was as eager as a kitten, no trace at all of the tears and fears of before. 

“We told the others we would meet them at the Pentamarket. There will be lots of time after,” he told her, partly to enjoy her reaction. Jester didn’t disappoint, sighing dramatically and reaching up to flick him on the nose again. 

“I had this feeling you weren’t gonna be one for quickies,” she groused playfully, before relaxing down into his chest again. “Can we cuddle a bit longer?” 

“Do you promise not to grope me?” Her hand stopped just at the lower edge of his tunic and Jester sighed again. 

“I suppose I could.” Anyone would think he had asked her not to breathe. Clay chuckled softly, leaning down to press his lips to the top of her head. 

“Then we can cuddle as long as you like.” 

**

As long as she liked took them right up to the edge of two o’clock. It was hard to tell time from inside the park, especially without a clock tower in sight. Caduceus didn’t bother to measure time shorter than a day so it had come down to Jester to decide when it was time to go. 

Fortunately by now she also knew a few short cuts to get them to the Pentamarket, so Nott and Beau weren’t kept waiting too long. 

Caduceus wondered if he was imagining the sharp, searching look the goblin girl gave him when they arrived. Nott didn’t actually say anything, and Jester had flung herself into Beau’s arms in greeting so neither of them were likely to notice. 

If she had been inspecting him, he seemed to have passed at least. They said no more of it anyway, simply exploring the market. There were indeed a lot of interesting little shops. 

Small sellers of candles, herbs and incenses, and flashy little bits of jewellery drew the fractured group this way and that. One stall covered in slightly battered books seemed to be new, and Nott and Jester cooed over it together. The consensus seemed to be that Caleb would have to be brought later to look for himself. Beau shot Caduceus a grin and shrugged. 

All in all, it was a pleasant afternoon. Jester bought pastries for everyone from a street seller and Beau dragged them all down side streets and back alleys to a small bar for drinks. 

Learning from experience, Caduceus refused the baser alcohols. He’d been game to try whiskey, and beer, and wine on his first night in town. Perhaps he should have been more suspicious of Nott’s wide innocent eyes as she pressed a fruity drink on him. But you couldn’t learn it all in a day. 

Jester seemed to have completely forgotten her hurry to return to the inn, laughing and running around with her friends. For a little while the firbolg managed to hold himself aside, watching her. Watching for the little ticks, the hints of what she was hiding. 

But she was like a living sunbeam, catching his arm and tugging him along and asking him questions, sucking him in. There was so much that was new, that he had never seen before. Beau was eager to show him around and introduce him to her world. 

It was a little surprising to see the terse, dour woman who had walked into his graveyard turned into a bright and laughing tour guide. But they were together now, all safe. 

Nott and Beau shot insults and smart assed remarks back and forth without a hint of malice. Jester giggled and encouraged both indiscriminately, feeding the fires. Caduceus found himself smiling along with her, gently adding his own two cents to the snark. 

Their little group opened easily to accept him. He didn’t take up much space except physically; his quiet, measured words slid in as easily as Yasha’s would have. As the evening drew in, Jester seemed to remember something. 

“Oh!” She gasped, clapping her hands together, “I still have the flowers from Hupperdook! Caduceus, you have to let us braid them into your hair!” 

The other two ladies turned to look at him, Beau doing her best critical “I’m not into this but I’m doing it anyway” expression, Nott blatantly speculative. Caduceus cocked his head. 

“Is there something special about them?” He’d played with flowers before, of course. Nott grinned and nodded eagerly. 

“They’re made of cloth, so they never go brown or die! They’d go with your whole look,” she added, waving a hand at his muted pastels. Beau snickered. 

“They might be a little bright,” she pointed out, then nodded to his hair, “but you’ve got plenty of space for them anyway.” 

Caduceus considered it for a moment and nodded with a smile. 

“That sounds nice. I’d like to see those.” 

“Yay!” Jester cheered, clapping her hands again and bouncing. “We can go back to the inn and do each others’ hair and have girl talk!” 

“Girl talk!” Nott agreed cheerfully. A short pause followed. “What’s girl talk?” 

Beau made a face, doing her best to convey extreme reluctance. 

“Usually talking about make up and hair and boys, if you believe the kids I grew up with.” 

“Booooooo-ring!” Jester cut in with a laugh. “We can talk about where we’ve been, and the best places we’ve seen, and the things we’ve done! And Caduceus can tell us about all the people he’s buried and what kind of tea they made! And we can redo your undercut, Beau!” 

A hand raised to the back of the monk’s head and she made another uncertain noise. 

“It is getting a little long,” she agreed reluctantly. A little lost, Caduceus looked between them all and nodded. 

“That does sound nice. Does girl talk mean we won’t be inviting Mr Caleb or Mr Fjord?” 

“Nope!” Nott shook her head firmly. “Girl talk is only for the ladies.” 

“And Caduceus,” Jester added, looping her arm through the firbolg’s. “Cuz you need to learn a whole lot about being out in the world!” 

Beau and Nott exchanged grins but neither bothered to raise a complaint. Jester was clearly enjoying not being the least experienced member of the party anymore. Caduceus didn’t bother to worry about it. He just gave her a small smile. 

“I would like that. I think there was something else you wanted to show me as well?” He wasn’t quite sure how demure he should be. It seemed safest to let Jester set the pace. 

“Oh!” The little blue tiefling perked up again and nodded, turning a bright grin on Beau and Nott. “Yeah, we were going to have sex!” 

Beau looked a little startled by the blunt wording, though she really should have known better by now. Nott just tilted her head to one side, frowning up at the firbolg. 

“I thought that’s what you were doing in the gardens?” 

Jester giggled and leaned a little of her weight onto the skinny firbolg. 

“Moooooostly we just talked. But we talked about sex! So we should probably do hair and things afterwards so we don’t just mess it all up again.” She nodded brightly and Beau snickered. 

“Far be it from me to make you wait. Any idea how long you’ll be?” 

Jester gave Caduceus a long, calculating look, her lips curling up into a devilish smile at the flush rising in his cheeks. 

“I’ll come back to our room when we’re done, but I think we could be a while.” She sounded distinctly satisfied by the idea and Caduceus cleared his throat, directing a smile to Beau. 

“I have no idea how long we’ll be. I’ve never done anything like this before,” he explained, doing his best to be helpful. Beau’s eyes widened and she glanced back to Jester, then back to Caduceus. 

“Jester’s gonna be your first?” She and Nott exchanged speaking looks, none of which Nott looked happy about. Then Beau patted him on the elbow. “She’ll take good care of you. Just tell her if you’re not sure about something, yeah?” 

Nott shook her head, making another face. 

“I don’t want to hear about it,” she warned them all, and Beau snickered. 

“I kinda do. Jester being your first... fuck, are you sure you don’t wanna ask Caleb or Fjord?” 

Feigning deep wounds, Jester sprawled dramatically across Beau’s entire body, forcing the monk to either catch her or go down with her. Beau wisely chose the former option, still grinning. 

“Beeeeeau! I’m hurt! That sounds like you think I’ll be bad at it!” Any appearance of real hurt was cut by the giggles she couldn’t quite repress. 

Beau shoved her gently upright and back towards Caduceus with a laugh of her own. 

“More you’re gonna give him unrealistic expectations,” she corrected, still snickering. 

Jester considered that for a moment then shrugged, grinning. 

“Alright, you may have a point. But high standards are a good thing!” 

The whole conversation had thoroughly gotten away from Caduceus by now, but he was doing his best to follow. And couldn’t help a small smile as he steadied Jester. 

Apparently he was going to have an exciting evening. 

The ladies continued arguing genially about it all the way back to the inn, where Beau broke off to find Caleb and ask him about the library, and Nott fled before Jester could start a list of all the things she planned to do to Caduceus. 

Since the whole point of the list was to chase Nott away, she stopped almost immediately. And wasn’t expecting the firbolg to look a little disappointed. 

“I like knowing there’s a plan,” he explained with a somewhat shy smile. Mildly puzzled, Jester cocked her head to one side, considering. 

A slow smile pulled across her lips. 

“Well... is there anything you particularly want to try?” She offered helpfully, already taking his hand to lead him up the stairs. 

Where Fjord was was apparently a question they’d settle later if at all; there was always the chance he’d want to join in if he was already in the room. 

Caduceus couldn’t say he wasn’t a little thrilled by the possibility. 

“Honestly, I don’t even know what all the options are,” he admitted with a shrug. This time he was expecting the delighted little smile that spread across her lips; on the whole, she was still a mystery to him, but he was learning. 

“How about we start with getting naked and see where we want to go from there?” She offered cheerfully, not even remotely bothering to keep her voice down as they passed other rooms. 

It made sense to Caduceus, even if he’d much prefer something with an actual outline and some serious goals, but since he didn’t have enough information to know what would work and what wouldn’t... well. It was an entirely unfamiliar kind of excitement, a curiosity mixed with vague anticipation. It might have been arousal; he didn’t have enough experience to know, but it felt like butterflies in his stomach. 

He managed a nod and another smile as she pushed the door open. Something in his chest dropped a little when he realised Fjord wasn’t there... of course, evidence suggested he’d have the opportunity to try things with the half orc later. If he’d be amenable, of course. 

Jester spun enthusiastically into the room, both arms rising as she twirled in the space. Following with a little more restraint, Caduceus stopped short of taking her into his arms again. He just... didn’t know what came next. 

Closing the door would be the obvious answer, but a quick flash of Jester’s Thaumaturgy solved that problem for him. Drawing in a breath, he met her gaze again. 

She was grinning broadly, enthusiasm bubbling up with something... softer in her eyes. A kind of delight in the new, a slightly nervous excitement that mirrored what he was feeling. 

It was such a relief to see it that tension flooded out of his shoulders. 

She knew what she was doing, sure, but she was still unsure. That helped. 

Helped him step closer, arms coming around her waist to pull her in against his chest. He knew she liked the closeness already, and it only made sense that that would extend to now, and he liked to have her close. Her warmth radiated through clothing, and she was so soft and warm against him. 

“Where do we begin?” He asked quietly, suddenly intensely aware of her gaze tracking to his lips. 

Pushing up on her toes, Jester made a disappointed little noise when she still couldn’t reach his face. 

“First I would like to kiss you,” she admitted, her lower lip sliding out in a pout that just maybe was to draw his attention to her lips in turn. It certainly worked; he couldn’t look away. 

Glancing around, Caduceus noticed the beds and an idea occurred. Their height difference could be a problem, but there were ways to mitigate it. 

“What if I sit down, and you sit in my lap?” He offered quietly, one hand tracing slowly along her back. Hell, she was short enough she could probably stand in front of him and be on the right level for him to kiss. 

Finding out seemed like fun. 

It certainly brought back her enthusiasm and she wriggled in delight, pushing up on her toes again to press a quick kiss to the middle of his chest before pulling away just a little. 

“That sounds good! And maybe we can work a little more out from there?” She paused, thinking, then reached up to the clasp on her cloak. “Maybe we should get naked first?” 

The idea brought another little bubble of excitement, and Caduceus nodded slowly. 

“It would save time,” he agreed after a moment’s thought. She watched him, apparently waiting for something. A moment later, the words clicked and he started, hands coming to the fasteners on his own shirt. “Oh. Right.” 

Stifling giggles, Jester tossed her cape aside and began working on her armour, magic sparkling at her fingertips while she undid the buckles. Caduceus couldn’t help smiling at his own obliviousness as he shrugged out of his shirt, taking a moment just to breathe. 

He seemed to be forgetting that a lot at the moment. 

He could feel Jester’s eyes on him as he glanced around, wondering where to put his shirt. She was just dropping her clothes to the floor, and at some point her boots and armour had already joined the cape? He hadn’t noticed that. 

Jester took her time watching him, letting some of her curiosity rise. They were doing this now, and she couldn’t help the excitement. She felt giddy, like she’d never so much as kissed someone before. 

Technically, she’d seen Caduceus naked that first night they’d all gone to the baths. But she’d been distracted, and there had been a lot going on, and she hadn’t been able to enjoy it. 

He was still skinny. His ribs weren’t exactly prominent, but she could pretty much see them under the fur and that didn’t seem like a good thing. Giving in to the urge, she stepped in closer and let her fingers brush across his chest. 

The short fur was warm and just, unbelievably soft under her hands. The fur on his arms was a little longer, a little more plush than soft, but on his chest it was smooth and sleek. And did nothing to disguise every dip where musculature didn’t quite cover bone. 

A small frown dragged across her face. 

“You’re so skinny, Caduceus... I could bend you into a horseshoe.” 

Which was a strange enough remark that it kept his attention from drifting to why he’d lost so much weight, which was its own kind of blessing. A fond smile stole across his lips and he let his hands rise to cover hers, stilling them against him. 

“Please don’t.” 

Jester nodded obediently, fingers curling in but just a little worry still curled into her brow. 

This wasn’t the time. 

“Don’t bend me into a horseshoe,” he added, just in case she needed clarification. It seemed to help and a giggle broke free, Jester shaking her head as she pulled away again. 

“I won’t,” she agreed with a fake solemnity, eyes bright with laughter, “we’ll play with bondage and stuff another time.” 

And that... that... that opened a whole ‘nother bucket of questions that he just didn’t have the words for. Gaping for just a moment, he felt a smile pulling back across his own face. 

She was so... gentle. So silly. So free. He couldn’t help enjoying her company even if he had no idea what she was going to do next. 

All he could do was do his best to keep up. 

With that in mind he bent to his boots, working them open and off easily. Fabric drifted past his head and he paused, gaze drifting to where her dress now lay on the floor. A moment later, black leggings followed. 

Oh. 

That. 

Oh. 

She was pretty much naked now. 

Caduceus couldn’t work out how to look up. Couldn’t bring himself to actually think about what Jester Lavorre wore under her clothes. 

They’d all been naked in the baths, technically there wasn’t going to be anything he hadn’t seen before. But he hadn’t paid attention in the bath. Hadn’t been looking with any kind of intention. This felt like an entirely different sort of nudity. 

A dancing blue tail flicked into his line of vision and he realised he’d frozen, staring at where her clothes lay discarded on the floor. She giggled, strong blue fingertips reaching out to cup his chin and guide his face up. 

“You’re allowed to look at me too, you know,” she teased, her voice fond and bubbly and wonderful. Unable to argue with her, Caduceus let himself be guided. Let himself look at her. 

The answer to what Jester Lavorre wore under her clothes was not a damn thing. Maybe not always, but today for sure, there was nothing between her skin and his eyes. 

Plump, perky breasts shifted as she did, drawing his attention to the darker blue of peaked nipples. She was just so... soft, round and curved everywhere, strong shoulders curling down powerful arms, stomach slipping into a defined waist that melded into broad, curved hips. The lines of her body guided his gaze further down, to the patch of short, dark blue hair between her legs. 

Legs that were just as round, just as curved, her weight up on her toes like she was just too excited to stand still. 

His gaze darting up to his face, Caduceus forced himself to speak. 

“Wow.” 

And immediately Jester erupted into giggles, one hand rising to cover her mouth as she stepped in, taking advantage of his still bent spine to press a quick kiss to his lips. 

“That’s a good line,” she purred against his mouth, fingers brushing from his chin up and across one furred cheek. 

Cheeks that flushed under her touch as his jaw worked slowly, opening and closing a couple times as he tried to find words. Anything other than just staring at her would be good really. Weakly, he managed a shaky 

“Thank you?” 

Jester giggled and pressed another kiss, then stepped back, gesturing for him to keep undressing. Entirely comfortable in her own skin. 

It took a moment for Caduceus to remember that he was supposed to be undressing too. Pulling himself together, he slid his trousers and underwear down together, stepping out of them. 

Jester’s eyes raked across his body appreciatively, over his fur covered chest. There was a little pink where it grew thicker at the middle, similar to his actual hair mingled in with grey fur. His shoulders were still broad, even skinny as he was, his arms long and strong. 

More lean than muscular at the moment, though that wouldn’t last long. Her gaze travelled down, skipping down the trail of thicker hair from his navel down past his hips. Stilled on his pouch, her head cocking to one side in mild confusion. 

It only took him a moment to guess. 

“Oh... you haven’t seen a naked firbolg before?” 

“I didn’t exactly look in the bath,” Jester admitted, stepping closer once more, fingers rising to brush across his hips.

The balls she could recognise, tucked close to the body in a thickly furred sac. The dick though... completely soft, it was tucked away in the pouch, keeping her from really making out any detail. 

A moment of uncertainty shot through her and she looked up, meeting his gaze with a sudden insecurity. 

“Do you not like me?” It was such an unexpected moment, a sudden vulnerability and abrupt return to tension all in one. 

Utterly wrong footed by the question, Caduceus shook his head quickly, turning to sit on the edge of his bed and pulling her in between his legs. It did put her at just the right height to kiss, like he’d expected, but that was suddenly the last thing on his mind. 

“I like you very much, miss Jester. You’re very beautiful,” he added when she still looked unsure, twisting in his grasp. 

Jester worried her lower lip, cheeks flushing a dull purple as she looked away. 

“It’s just... I mean... we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. If you’re not interested I can just go?” All of a sudden all she could think was that she’d been too forward, put him off, that she wasn’t interesting enough. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Entirely confused by the change in her demeanour, Caduceus did his best to keep up. 

“Why would I want you to go?” He asked slowly, watching her face. Trying to work out what she’d been expecting that hadn’t happened. Things had felt like they were going well? 

Jester did her best to push past the wave of worry, glancing into his lap and then at his face again. 

It wasn’t her first dick. 

Some guys could be shy. 

Not usually with her, but there was always a first time. 

“I just... I don’t want to be pushy? And if you’re not into it...” 

“We haven’t really done anything for me to not be into,” Caduceus pointed out gently, relaxing when some of the tension left her shoulders. A weak smile curled Jester’s lips, a pale reflection of her usual grin. 

Alright, maybe she wasn’t as fine as she’d thought. Still a little sensitive to perceived rejection. 

The Traveler would be soooo disappointed if she let that ruin her evening. 

“This is true,” she agreed, leaning a little more into Caduceus’ touch, “but you’ve got to tell me if we do, alright?” 

Smiling, Caduceus let one hand trace the line of her body from her shoulder down her arm to her hip. 

“Yeah, I can do that.” He paused, an explanation slipping into his mind. Well, more of a question. “Are you worried because I don’t have an erection?” 

Which hit the nail on the head just a little too directly. Stifling a giggle, Jester draped her arms over his shoulders and leaned in. 

“It is usually kind of required,” she pointed out, fangs bright in her teasing grin. 

Which faded again when Caduceus looked puzzled. 

“Aren’t there things we can do without it?” He asked, large hands cupping her hips, thumbs brushing slowly over her belly. 

Jester blinked, frowning thoughtfully into the distance for a moment. 

“I mean technically there’s lots of things we can do? But like, it’s pretty traditional to get it involved at some point.” A wicked impulse caught her up and she grinned again. “I was definitely hoping to ride it.” 

Caduceus mouth formed a small “o” of understanding, his cheeks flushing again beneath the coating of fur. Jester watched his face with interest as his expression shifted several times. Finally he settled on a sheepish smile. 

“That... might not so much be a thing. We can try, but I’m afraid I don’t have much of a physical interest in these things.” 

Which made it Jester’s turn to look entirely confused. 

“So why would you say you want to have sex with me?” She asked, thoroughly wrong footed. 

Pulling her in a little closer, Caduceus let his arms slip around her waist. She was warm through his hair, soft and yielding and all too eager to come with him. 

“Because you asked me to. I like you very much, miss Jester. And you’re very pretty when you’re happy. So if I was going to want to, I figured this would be a good time, and if not, I can still make you feel good. If you’d like to direct me of course.” It all made perfect sense to Caduceus, but Jester still looked confused. 

And a little bit sceptical. 

“Are you sure you don’t just prefer dick?” She asked carefully, searching his face. “Cuz like, I can go get Caleb, I’m preeeeeetty sure he likes you and he likes all this experimenting too?” 

The idea had a definite appeal, and Caduceus couldn’t help a slight smile at the idea. Caught her wrists before she could misinterpret and pull away. 

“I think I would like that for another time,” he clarified carefully, watching her in return to try and make her understand, “but I’d like to do our experiment first. How about we just get started and see what happens?” 

It was just a little funny to him, seeing her certainty falter without evidence of immediate physical attraction. He could well imagine it was something she hadn’t dealt with before; Jester Lavorre was a beautiful young woman, and her cheerful, upfront sexuality was the kind of thing a lot of people responded to. Either by firmly saying no or immediately wanting more, from what he’d seen. 

She was still searching his face, not sure what exactly to do in the face of a slower response. Whatever she found seemed to help and she brightened, moving to straddle his lap instead. 

“I could be okay with that,” she agreed, resting both hands on his chest to lean her weight on him and oh that was nice. Caduceus’ arms closed around her automatically, smoothing over soft skin and reassuring her further. 

With her up on her knees like this, their faces were only inches apart, lips almost brushing as she smiled ever so sweetly at him. 

“So what would you like to start with?” She asked almost teasingly, fingers curling through soft fur. 

Even though he knew it wasn’t really a question, he spent a moment thinking about it anyway. It would be nice to have a plan. 

“I think I would like for you to kiss me,” he decided, hands trailing slowly up and down her back. Jester made a low, happy noise, pressing closer until her skin brushed his from shoulders to hips. 

“I would also like that very much, Caduceus,” she purred, leaning in slowly to press their mouths together. 

It started slowly, sweet and closed lips and Caduceus didn’t know where else to go from there. Then her lips parted and it seemed easiest to follow, his mouth falling open easily to accept her tongue. 

She tasted... still just a little of pastries, of icing and sugar from their snacks at the market. But mostly she just tasted like mouth, warm and alive and brushing her tongue gently along his, coaxing him to move with her. Eyes falling closed, Caduceus let his focus narrow to her mouth and the smooth glide of her tongue. 

It was nice, the ways their mouths moved together. A little bit clumsy too, his teeth occasionally bumping hers and once he thought he might have cut his tongue on one of her fangs. There was no taste of blood though, so it didn’t seem worth stopping. 

She was so warm, so alive pressed against him, her hands now stroking through his hair and gripping the back of his head. They were always moving too, fingernails scraping gently across his scalp in ways that made his spine tingle. 

Whatever they were doing, she was definitely enjoying it, her whole body pressing and writhing over his. It took an effort for Caduceus to pay attention to anything other than the kissing, but when he did he began to worry about what to do with his hands. Hers felt so nice in his hair, at the back of his neck, and he wanted to return the favour... but her position was a little more precarious, and it seemed more important to brace her. 

It wasn’t until she drew back a little, breath gusting over his lips, that he realised that he’d stopped paying attention to the kiss. 

“Something wrong?” Jester asked, one hand rising to brush her hair back behind one ear. 

Blinking slowly Caduceus refocused on her face. Her cheeks were just a little flushed, as he assumed his must be too. She looked happy, a smile on her lips and it took a specific effort to look away from it and meet her eyes. A slightly dozy smile was probably on his own face too. 

“Yeah... that’s nice.” 

Jester made a soft, pleased noise, shifting closer and leaning in to kiss him again. This time Caduceus leaned back a little, both large hands all but enveloping her hips. 

“I think... I would like to touch you? Where can I do that?” He felt her giggle against his lips and found himself wondering if he could taste that too. It was... tempting. 

She pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, one horn brushing through his hair. 

“You’re already touching me, Caduceus,” she pointed out in a low voice, rolling her hips into his hands. His grip tightened instinctively and she giggled again, moving to kiss the other corner. “Would you like to touch me more?” 

It was such a coy question, so innocently Jester that he couldn’t help a chuckle in return. You’d almost think she wasn’t naked in his lap. 

“I’d like that very much, miss Jester,” he confirmed anyway, since it seemed to be what she wanted. And indeed, she made a pleased, happy noise, her tail twisting down to brush his thighs. 

“Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to touch?” She purred, her tongue darting out to wet her lips and nearly brushing his. 

And again, it felt a little bit... wrong to take the time to think about? Like it wasn’t really a question? But Caduceus considered it carefully anyway. Jester seemed happy enough to wait, nuzzling at his jawline and just breathing in his scent. 

He’d never really wondered how sensitive tiefling noses were. 

Finally, he had to admit he needed help. 

“I don’t know. Where feels best for you?” Because he very much liked her hands in his hair, but her tail was twisting across his legs now and he wanted more of that too. 

There was just... so much skin and he’d like to explore all of it. 

Jester hummed softly, her hands sliding from his hair and down to his wrists, sitting back on her heels to guide his hands up to her breasts. Not by removing them from her skin, of course, or hurrying the journey. She liked to be touched. 

“Well... here is always good, to start with,” she told him with a sweet smile, looking up at him through her lashes. A glance towards his lap showed still no erection, but she did her best to ignore it. 

Caduceus definitely ~sounded~ like he was having fun. 

He very much enjoyed stroking his hands up the gentle curves of her sides, and taking the weight of her breasts in hand. He really didn’t think a lot about their size differences most of the time, but one of his hands could brush her collarbone even with a handful of boob. She wasn’t exactly small enough to be delicate by comparison, and he’d seen her strength first hand on the way back to Zadash. 

He still couldn’t help marvelling at how small she looked in his hands. How her furless blue skin contrasted with his grey. 

That did make him wonder how small she’d look on his cock, sending an unfamiliar jolt of arousal through his body. Firbolg were large to start with, and he was well aware that Jester found his size a challenge. 

He took his time exploring her breasts, since she’d guided his attention there. Cupped them first, raising to feel the weight and watch how they moved. Pressed them together, thumbs meeting in the middle of her chest as he caressed soft flesh. Let his fingers trail down from the top, examining the skin before moving his attention to her nipples. 

Those were interesting, tight and lightly peaked with arousal. Brushing his fingers lightly over them won him a shiver, so he spent a little more time there to fully explore. 

Jester was very vocal in her approval, egging him on with breathy instructions. Pinching both nubs between his large fingers drew a loud moan from her, and Caduceus spent a while just twisting and playing with them. 

It was fascinating to see the change in her; to watch the flush in her cheeks, her breathing growing laboured like she was working hard. The way her lilac eyes darkened, pupils blown wide in a beautifully wanting expression. 

Her mouth was never still either, small noises of pleasure slipping through. Biting and chewing at her lower lip, her tongue flicking out to wet it, just letting it fall open to moan as he touched her. 

It was just a little intoxicating and Caduceus let himself get lost in watching her for a while. Her thighs trembled where they were stretched across his legs, her back arching just a little to expose herself more to his hands. One small hand found its way to his shoulder, her grip strong and firm to brace herself while he worked her. 

There was just so much to learn, so much to see. And it wasn’t like they had anything else to do that day. A rather satisfied smile on his face, Caduceus settled down to enjoy his exploration. 

Shifting back for a more comfortable position, one of his legs brushed against the apex of her thighs and startled a louder moan from her. Caduceus stilled in surprise, not sure what to do. It definitely wasn’t a bad sound, but it also wasn’t where she’d asked to be touched. 

She was wet too, arousal welling between her lower lips and slicking the fur of his thigh together where he touched. He’d read the books of course, but... well, that wasn’t the same as seeing it. Feeling her lust soaking through his fur. Experimentally he pressed up a little more and Jester ground down to meet him with another lusty moan. 

His hands stilled on her breasts and she cracked open an eye, her breathing just a little laboured. 

“Is... is that okay?” She asked a little unsurely. 

Caduceus shrugged, giving what he hoped was a reassuring smile. 

“Do you like it?” 

A playful smile tugged across her lips in response and she rolled her hips again, grinding herself against him. 

“It feels very nice, Caduceus.” 

It was the first time she’d said his name in a that tone, low and seductive and tacitly asking for more. Almost shy, almost asking for permission. It sent another thrill down his spine and he resolved to make her say it like that a lot more. 

The teasing, playful way she said it was good too of course. Really what mattered was that she kept saying his name at all. 

Leaning in, he caught her lips in another long, deep kiss. Moving one hand from her breast to her back, he slid it down to the base of her spine and pressed, encouraging her to slowly grind on him. 

She didn’t need much encouragement, moaning into his mouth and working her hips, angling forward just enough to rub her clit over wet fur. 

Since he was already exploring, Caduceus let his hand slide a little further, down to the base of her tail to squeeze gently around it. Her breath hitched in response, hips stuttering at the two contrasting touches. Smiling against her mouth, Caduceus ran his hand down her tail like he’d take himself in hand. 

Firm, with just enough pressure to provide friction. 

Jester fucking keened, squirming on his leg as both hands came up to clutch at his shoulders. She had to break the kiss herself this time, sharp breaths panting against his lips. 

“That... that’s really good,” she managed, just the faintest hint of a plaintive whine in her voice. Caduceus couldn’t have held in the smug grin for anything but the Wildmother herself. 

So instead he just did it again, enjoying the way she bucked against him. 

Jester Lavorre was extremely responsive, which made it easy for him to tell what she liked. That was nice; he liked to make his friends happy. 

**

Jester herself had been enjoying Caduceus’ slow, lazy explorations, though she had been wondering if or when he’d move on. Take a little more initiative. 

Not that she minded being in charge; that was its own kind of fun and she was always down to play. But this was supposed to be about Caduceus and his first time. She wanted to do what he wanted. 

What he wanted first seemed to be getting to know her body, and that was definitely a good start. His hands felt wonderful on her skin, large and firm and sure wherever they touched. And he was definitely paying attention to her reactions.

He spent a lot of time on her boobs, kneading and playing with them, learning all the best spots to make her moan. Jester hadn’t really thought about how sensitive they were on their own before; there was usually a whole lot more on the table, unless she was being teased. 

Caduceus wasn’t teasing her, exactly. 

It felt like he was memorising her. His touch grew more sure, fingertips expertly skimming every sensitive spot, thumbs brushing across her nipples and sending sparks up her spine. 

She hadn’t even noticed how wet she was until his leg brushed her cunt. 

Well. 

She’d wanted him to take initiative. 

And then that second press came, and suddenly there was a fire in her belly and all she wanted was to feed it. To hump his leg until she came. 

It was so sweet, that thick thigh between her legs, large hands supporting and pleasing her. Pressing her down to grind harder, all she could do was obey. They’d not even done more than foreplay, though they had been doing it for a while. She hadn’t even been stretched, he was just... 

Paying attention to her. 

It was lovely, being the sole focus of so much attention. So much care. When he grabbed her tail she thought she’d come, such a tender, powerful grip that made her squirm. 

Clutching at his shoulders, she gasped for air as he kept going, jerking off her tail in short, rhythmic strokes. She couldn’t help moving with him, her head falling forward to press against his shoulder. 

“You’re... really good at this,” she panted, the end of her tail coiling tightly around his wrist. Not enough to stop him from moving, never enough to stop him from moving. 

When he chuckled she could feel it in her chest, his other hand splaying across her back to steady her. 

“Why thank you, miss Jester, that’s very kind.” 

The absurdity made her giggle, even as she squirmed. 

“Seriously though... maybe... maybe we should do something else for a bit?” She regretted the words immediately as both of his hands stilled, releasing her tail at once to hold her hip instead. 

She was tempted to keep grinding, but pulled herself to a stop with a shaky breath. 

“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” He sounded so contrite, so immediately concerned that she made herself look up so he could see the huge smile on her face. 

“More like something really, really right,” she admitted with another breathy giggle, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Maybe it had been a little too long since she’d gotten off? She wasn’t usually wound so tight. “I just don’t want to come too soon.” 

And that brought another gorgeous, entirely satisfied and slightly relieved smile across Caduceus’ face. 

“Why not?” He asked almost teasingly, but from the way he watched her... he meant the question. 

He’d thought about all of hers seriously. 

And... now that he’d asked... 

“Mostly cuz this is supposed to be about you,” she pointed out with another grin, brushing sweaty hair back off her face again. It was getting tangled in her horn jewellery, but that was a common risk of sex. 

Caduceus seemed a little surprised by that but it wasn’t exactly the best reason in the world. 

Jester wasn’t expecting him to trap her gaze in his, his hand closing around her tail to drag down it in a powerful grasp that curled her toes. 

“But I want to watch you come, Jester. Maybe more than once.” 

And that wasn’t fucking ~fair~. 

Back arching, Jester whimpered, knuckles suddenly white where she clutched at him. So the bastard did it again, right from the base down as far as his long, long arms would allow. 

She actually had to fucking uncurl the tip, though nothing but his grip stopped it from shaking. Leaning down, Caduceus pressed his forehead to hers, staring into her eyes. 

“What else do you need?” 

Because she hadn’t come already, and fuck she really really wanted to. 

It took a visceral effort to let go of his shoulders, to move one hand to the wrist of his supporting hand and bring it back around in front. 

“Rub my clit and pull my tail,” she whispered, unable to pull her eyes from his. Which meant she got the full effect of the slow, commanding smile as his fingers curled, spreading her lower lips. 

“You don’t want one inside you?” And he pulled her tail again, faster, making her whole body jerk. 

Fuck, she wanted ~anything~ he had inside her. 

“Yeah,” she whimpered, rocking her hips to try and push down on his hand. 

The tip of one very large finger pressed against her entrance and fuck, she’d definitely had cocks smaller. But she was so wet she was practically dripping, slicking the fur on his fingers down. Still he hesitated just at the seam, reluctant to push in. 

To hurt her? 

Shifting her grip on his wrist, Jester rocked her hips down, impaling herself slowly on his finger with a long, low moan. Whether in reward or punishment he stroked her tail again, another long one, before curling his hand around the base and jerking slowly. 

“Good,” he murmured and her toes curled again. If she could have looked away she’d have thrown her head back, screaming her pleasure as his thumb found her clit, pressing down just as he tugged her tail. 

She didn’t even have one full fucking finger in her when she came, clamping down tight around him and wailing as her whole body bucked. 

The hand on her tail flew to her back to support her and she added an extra curse in Infernal, hips jerking through her orgasm. 

By the time she came down she was a boneless puddle in his lap, cuddled up to his chest. One finger was still inside her, and as she shifted it brushed just past the point of oversensitive. She whimpered, and Caduceus removed it immediately. 

The temptation to grab his wrist again was... intense. 

A look into his lap showed that he still wasn’t hard, and a flash of worry slipped through Jester’s mind. 

“Did you...” searching for words, she looked up enough to meet his face and saw a very satisfied smile. 

“I didn’t get hard, no,” Caduceus confirmed, bringing his wet finger up to his face. He examined it curiously for a moment, then licked it, and something deep inside Jester squirmed. “But I am having a good time. You are very pretty when you come, miss Jester.” 

Her cheeks flushed and she buried her face in his chest, whether to hide that or her smile she couldn’t say. It... was strange. Usually she loved playing with her friends, teasing them and getting them off, and being the one coaxing those powerful reactions. 

And coming herself, most of the time. One way or the other. That usually wasn’t actually the point, though it was a lovely bonus. 

But Caduceus didn’t seem the least bit concerned about getting off. He was perfectly happy to play with her body, to map her reactions, to lick himself clean from her come without anything in return. It wasn’t fair, but kind of in the best possible way. 

Pulling herself out again, she looked up at his face with a small smile. 

“Can we cuddle now?” She asked hopefully. 

That seemed to puzzle Caduceus, admittedly for a good reason. 

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?” 

Shaking her head, Jester hauled herself up. Her legs still felt like jelly, which was wonderful, but she wasn’t going far. Taking Caduceus’ shoulders in hand, she shoved him playfully sideways. 

“Lie down.” 

He was only too happy to comply, sliding sideways to lie along the bed, and Jester toppled cheerfully after him. Rearranging legs took a moment but when it was over she was cuddled to his chest again with both of her legs draped over his. 

Caduceus slipped an arm around her waist to pull her in again, tucking her head easily in under his chin. 

“This is nice,” he decided after a moment, giving her a gentle squeeze. 

Jester made a small happy noise and cuddled in, fingertips playing idly across his fur. She wasn’t gonna check for dick anymore. Caduceus would tell her if there was something he wanted, and she didn’t need the worry. 

Even as she settled though, his hands kept moving. Not to her breasts or her tail now, not where he’d been before, but there was the same kind of intent behind his moves. It felt nice, those large hands trailing along her arm, across her stomach, the curve of her waist. Craning her neck up showed he wasn’t even looking at her. 

Just gently stroking. 

Like she was a big cat. 

Not that Jester had any objections. Just a question. 

“Did you want to keep going?” She asked, her fingers sliding almost reflexively through the fur on his chest. The question definitely surprised him and he met her gaze, a small smile on his lips. 

“Only if you want to?” 

Jester considered the question for a moment, her lips pursing thoughtfully. It might be nice, but she wasn’t exactly feeling horny? Just... very settled. And she wanted to cuddle. 

“I mean... it was really, really good, but right now I just want to snuggle.” She enjoyed watching his cheeks flush, a small giggle finding her lips. Right about the same time her fingers brushed across a large nipple. 

That distracted her for a moment, since she then had to seek out its pair and then count. Nope, firbolg only had two nipples. She’d kind of been expecting four? 

When she’d fondled away across most of his chest, Caduceus was still smiling fondly down at her. He’d stilled a little to let her search, his hand only moving slowly around her stomach. Fingertips, fingernails, brushing back and forth around her belly button. 

“I like snuggling,” he told her when she met his gaze again, his voice soft and warm enough that it bloomed in her chest. And since she was done, he went back to his explorations. Down towards her hips, tracing where the bones would lie beneath her skin. 

That was a little close to being sexy again, but something about the slow, deliberate motions was blending right into her afterglow, drawing it out into a lovely happy fog. Jester shifted a little, rolling onto her back to give him a better angle. Caduceus paused, his fingers just at the top of her dark blue curls. 

“I can stop here if it’s distracting you? Or I can keep going,” he added, his voice going just a little lower on the last words. Jester wriggled happily, trying to map how much was arousal and how much was just... nice. 

“I meeeeean... I really don’t mind where you touch me? So long as you don’t play too much with my clit or start fingering me I think I’ll be fine.” Which was just a little left of truth; his methodical, firm touch was distracting her everywhere. It just wasn’t exactly a sexy distraction. 

But Caduceus took her at her word. Let his fingers dip lower, around her hips, across the gentle dips that led to her mound. Through tightly curled hair where he paused to rub it gently between his fingers. Examining the texture. His other hand slid up into her actual hair, stroking gently through longer blue curls. 

Jester wiggled a little, trying not to giggle. More at what he was clearly doing than the tickling. 

“Do you need me to move?” She asked playfully, her own fingertips trailing along Caduceus’ arm. The firbolg gave her a soft smile, his hand flattening out to cup her gently. 

“I don’t want to distract you. How about you lie here and I’ll move you as needed?” 

It sounded just a little bit boring and Jester pouted slightly, fingers tugging idly at soft fur. 

“But I want to touch you too,” she pointed out and Caduceus blinked like he’d not actually thought of that. 

“Oh. I guess we can take it in turns?” His hand was still on her, not moving now, just... there. Holding her. It was large enough that she had to spread her legs just to get all his fingers between them, the tips of those long fingers brushing the curve of her ass. And yeah, that was definitely hot, and she was starting to wonder about what it’d be like to have them inside her. 

But then he moved on, fingers brushing up her lips to stroke the crease of her thigh. Breath blew out of her in a long sigh. 

“I guess that’s fair,” she agreed, shuffling her shoulders to sink down the bed just a little. 

Caduceus was watching her intently again, his hand coming back to glide just over the top of her mound. 

“You can always tell me if you want to come again,” he told her lightly, and yeah, that was hot too. Jester squirmed in the sheets, thinking about it. 

He’d done a lot of touching her, and she hadn’t had the chance to do much touching him. Maybe a little more touching might get a more physical response? 

“I think I want to touch you for now,” she told him, shivering as his fingers trailed through her lower lips again. Caduceus seemed a little surprised but happy enough, bracing himself on one elbow to smile down at her. 

“What would you like to touch?” He gestured down the length of his body. 

A wicked grin spread across Jester’s lips. 

“I don’t know. Where would you like to be touched?” She teased, parroting his words back to him. He recognised them at once, a slight smile on his face as he considered it. 

Taking her wrist in return, he guided her hands up to his chest. 

“You can start here.” 

Jester spent a little bit of her time playing with his nipples, trying to see if she could find the same spots to arouse him as he’d found with her. But though he did make some soft, approving noises, none of them seemed to have the same effect. Before long she got sidetracked by how soft his fur was, tracking the lines of his chest below. 

Finally she met his eyes again, her hand pressed just below his belly button. He’d watched her this whole time, patient and enjoying her touch. When she stilled he rested a hand over hers, squeezing gently. 

“That feels lovely, miss Jester.” 

Smiling in spite of herself, she leaned up for another soft kiss. 

“I think I’d like to do this more often,” she admitted with a happy sigh, wriggling close to press her cheek to his chest again. 

Caduceus raised a brow, his arm wrapping around her to tuck her in close. 

“Which part?” He asked, smiling when her tail coiled around one of his legs. 

“All of it,” Jester giggled, then paused. Thought about it a little more. “You are very good at the sexy stuff for your first time. But you have to tell me when it’s my turn too, okay?” 

“Your turn?” Caduceus asked, then his cheeks flushed as he realised. 

Oh. 

She meant her turn to make him come. 

He’d not really been thinking about it, mostly just enjoying watching her and her responses, enjoying just being able to lie and touch. Clearing his throat, he stared at the opposite wall. 

“Uh... how would you like me to do that?” He could feel his cheeks burning. Like he’d set his fur on fire, as Clarabelle would say. 

Jester just shrugged against his chest, cuddling in. 

“I mean... you can just say? Or tell me it’s my turn if you don’t wanna say it in front of other people. Whenever you are in the mood, okay?” 

He’d mentioned it sometimes happened, and rushing it so far wasn’t getting her anywhere. Jester Lavorre was capable of patience sometimes, for the things that really mattered. 

Caduceus considered the idea for a while, fingertips tracing idle patterns across the skin of her back. Finally he nodded and leaned back a little, his head brushing the wall to meet her gaze. 

“Okay. That doesn’t mean we’re done here though, right?” He asked, just to be sure. 

A low chirruping sound worked its way from Jester’s throat as she snuggled closer. 

“Not just yet. There’s a lot of touching still to do, right?” 

Reassured, a smile slipped across Caduceus’ face as he brushed a finger over the base of her tail. Yeah, he loved the little shiver that got him. 

“Is it my turn again?” 

Jester considered it, a playful smile slipping across her face. 

“I guess so. Where would you like to touch?” 

“Your back is very nice,” Caduceus mused, splaying one hand across the small of her back. Thumb and pinky finger nearly curled round her sides, “but I think I should explore your legs first.” And the hand slid down, over the curve of her ass. 

Jester wriggled and stifled a giggle in his chest, putting on her best pouty voice. 

“Does that mean I have to move?” 

Chuckling to himself, Caduceus hauled himself back into a sitting position. 

“That wouldn’t be very fair,” he said slowly, both hands wrapping around one smooth thigh now. Jester pushed herself up on her elbows, twisting back over her shoulder to watch. 

“But now I can’t cuddle you,” she pointed out with another pout, batting her lashes slowly at him. 

This was an unforeseen problem, and Caduceus’ brow furrowed in serious thought until the sound of her laughter broke through to him. 

Okay. 

She was probably kidding. 

Which meant he was probably safe to go back to exploring her legs. 

** 

Caduceus took his time feeling his way along Jester’s legs, thighs and calves examined in as minute detail as the rest of her had been. She was more than happy to comply, twisting and turning and raising limbs as he asked. 

The longer they continued, the less sexual it became. Maybe because he wasn’t so focused on erogenous zones, maybe as Jester got more used to the idea of just... touching. Getting to know each others’ bodies without the motivation of sensuality. It was sort of like the long, slow cuddles she adored. 

For her next turn, she sat up to feel along his arms. It... wasn’t exactly a massage, though that was probably what came closest. It was just... nice. 

Caduceus’ arms were long and strong, able to wrap completely around her and dwarf her in them. Not as powerful as her own, but that was fine. His fur grew differently on either side, the fur on the outside of his arms growing just a little longer, a little more coarse. It made the shorter fur on the inside feel even softer now that she was paying attention. 

Gradually they made their way along each others bodies, winding up just lying together, pressed close by the narrowness of the bed. 

Jester felt more grounded than she had in... had it only been weeks? It felt like months. 

She finally felt... real. Caduceus’ slow, methodical touches made her feel really in contact with her own body again. From her horns to her toes, it felt... safe. Like it was hers again, and not something that people could just grab and take. 

She hadn’t realised how much that had been bothering her before now. 

Being able to explore him in return, that soothing, nonsexual yet intimate level of touch, was somehow freeing. Cuddling had always been her favourite part of sex, all soft with afterglow and completely in sync. 

Had she known before that it was an option without sex, she’d definitely have been doing it more. 

Funny, really; she’d come up intending to teach Caduceus about sex, and instead she’d learned. And so had he, of course. A lazy smile quirked her lips and she snuggled just a little closer. 

Beau and Nott would be expecting them soon, the sun had set a little while ago. She wasn’t in any hurry though. 

When she’d made her decision that morning, she hadn’t been sure exactly what Caduceus could do to soothe the buzzing beneath her skin. She’d just been sure he was the only one who might be able to help. 

Here, now? 

She was finally calm. 

She was definitely gonna recommend it to Fjord. 

**Author's Note:**

> HK: In this house we cuddle our friends about their problems! And yeah, there will be a second chapter about the girl talk and hair party :P That’s an olllllllld head canon.


End file.
